Wandering with my shadow

I don’t consider myself a poet.

I’ve never really written poems. This is just something I wrote;a string of thoughts I couldn’t keep in anymore.I don’t even know what to call it. But it’s mine. And maybe it’s yours too.🫶🏾

There is so much noise in my head.

Where do I start from?

It’s so noisy that it’s become too silent these days- my thoughts.

What would I like, actually?

What am I not doing?

Is this what I am supposed to be doing?

No goals, no pushes- just vague dreams, uncertainty, sadness, loneliness.

What if I have derailed?

I feel like I have lost myself completely, chasing my shadow.

I lost sight of me while I was chasing my shadow.

And now that I have caught it, I’ve realized just how stupid I may have been.

Now, I have forgotten what I look like.

Now, I do not know how to describe me anymore.

Was I in search of the storm, the chaos, the sun—to embrace it?

Or was I in pursuit of the breeze, the calm, the moon- to soak in the solitude?

The people are staring at me, walking with the shadow I have caught

their faces indifferent.

I do not even know who to ask or how to ask for help

because I do not know what I look like.

Now I wander with my shadow;

wondering if I was ever whole.